After coming across an article (read here) hinting at the many comparables between the loving world of social advertising and dating, I was inspired to write this post however from a point of view a little bit more attuned to my current state of affairs as this too has struck me as resemblant.
You may or may not remember a post I wrote a long life ago with some top tips to survive an advertising degree, the main areas within that discussion still prove strong today and become relevant here. Why? You may ask… well if you have time please go and read through my tips here, if you don’t and you’re a desperately important advertisingy person it’s because as a said advertisingy person, you need to be in unconditional love with the industry and all its bad bits in order to; maintain motivation, keep ‘on the pulse’ (blaaahhh!) and get better at your job! This is where I feel the dating analogy starts to fit.
Of course the general comparison of advertising as an unconditional lover has already been made by me in a previous post, what I really wanted to point out was the interesting comparison with a job hunt and dating. Both of which I have recently experienced quite a bit of compared to a previous life within the education system and a long term relationship.
Let’s go by the rules in the article aforementioned as the inspiration and to keep some logic and momentum going…
1. It takes time to get to know each other and build trust.
I would say there should probably be a step before this, one which says you need to know what the hell you’re getting into and why! Do I want to marry this guy, is this client going to bring me new opportunities or is this agency going to grind me down? All relevant but politely missed here in this piece. Take my situation; I want a loving, kind and friendly… agency (ha so not ready on the dating front for THAT) anyway yes I need a new home – somewhere to call my own. I’ll trust my gut every time with this since ignoring it last time was a bit fat mistake!
I digress… get to know your potential agency/ date friend, do research/ Facebook stalk them, be interested and ask sensible questions, enjoy their company, love their offices/ body?, find a place for yourself in their ever so clichéd ‘family’ or friends whichever best fits my point here.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and trust is something hard to come by. Be honest about it though your new potential agency/ lover will probably be able to see through any BS or outright lies (you say it’s HOW big?)… sorry! If they can see from the offset you’ve been loved and trusted in the past and you’re honest enough about the good and bad it’s likely this can be progressed. This is the one good thing I LOVE about starting new relationships – clean slate scenario, everything starts new so try not to fuck it up!
2. It’s not all about scoring.
Calm yourself you randy muffins! Listen to the above advice and take heed…
Great example within this article – don’t just aim for the sack do the leg work first even if that’s the main goal. The same truth can definitely be said about obtaining a position. It’s not just a job this is your one true love! A place in this world you call home and would do anything for, being at this particular agency is only going to help you along but you must show this isn’t all they are to you. More than anything this place could nurture your very creative souls and up 2 or 3 steps throughout your career and you may just have a bloody good time as you do it – hello this is your life not just a job. There ain’t no clocking off in the ad world, if you remember from my tips this is a lifestyle choice and one must breathe it to fully succeed here. The bottom line here is even if all you want is casual sex/ a job then at least go for somewhere/ someone with some premise of a better existence because of that (make sure they are damn good!)
3. Don’t push too hard.
There are rules to this here game on both counts. Like the article points out wait your three days or play the first date curse (a current issue close to home) whichever you need to do. Allow some time to get them curious, after leaving that great impression from all this here leg work above, you need to give just enough to stay remembered but not so much that they’ve deleted your number and are already surfing the net for the next fishy. Less IS more..
4. First impressions can be deceiving.
We all know the referendum, the confident, cocky guys we all go for would make hideous husbands/ fathers but would probably be great in bed and the nice, lovely, take home to your mum guy is more likely a bit limp for some but would be ready to take you up the aisle in a flash (no pun intended). This follows the same consensus as the meet and greet situation, make sure you know what you want and why you want it. Certain types of agencies/ lovers are good for certain types of people but all within different contexts. For e.g. a fresh dumpee to the world of dating is not going to be looking for the one, whereas a fresh redundantee could be! Hint hint!
5. Self-promotion is a real bore.
We all know social media is a channel born within narcissism to some extent; I’ll write you a line about my best qualities, show you my best photos and write you my best spell checked posts. These cocky beasts in real life don’t really end up impressing as we all well know, this goes back again to the honesty anything other is totally transparent. In an interview don’t go in saying how you’re the best Account Executive ever to walk this earth, tell them how your lovely previous Account Manager said you were and how they still continue to love you forever! Obviously be confident as the article suggests, take your compliments and secretly agree inside ‘yes I am looking damn fine thanks, that two hour make up sesh was not a total waste of time…’
6. Different needs, different partners
Pretty much the same as rule 4 when it comes to the context of both dating and finding a new lovely advertisingy job, understanding the needs behind your move or motivations to move on will go a long way in both worlds.
7. Sometimes the best things grow with time.
Break your ridiculous one date curse and see the guy you aren’t sure about again, stop being a pussy and force yourself into the situation where yes you may have to admit this isn’t right but at least you’ll be damn sure. Easier said than done I so know!
Sadly I didn’t grow that much with time, I’m still only a little over 5″, but my 18 months experience within my beloved industry has taught me lots and the more you learn the better you are. Simples right?
8. Don’t try to make your partner someone they’re not.
I am a small currently red headed person (dyed not ginger) who often resembles a child and is nearly always ID’d, you cannot turn me into Jessica Rabbit anytime soon although I think she was a bit ginger. It would be the same to expect this from your date/ new agency, you should align your needs and desires with them and if it doesn’t work trust your gut I can tell you it’s nearly always right! You aren’t always going to get it right, but this can be a good thing it means you know what you don’t want. For me I know I need a small agency or at least that ethos to thrive as I get too easily lost in a top heavy process driven structure, I like the human element.
9. Know when it’s time to break it off.
Clashing with my first date curse policy however, but give your dates/ new agency the chance it deserves all the while knowing when enough is enough. Flogging a dead horse is not cool in any respect, but if you know when there isn’t budget for you or he cannot make the effort then it’s time to hit the road Jack. I am using way too many sayings here, very unlike me…
10. Be clear about your intentions.
I can’t help but feel we have covered this point several times, perhaps this article is a bit repetitive… Obviously there should be some tact in play when asked ‘so what is it you really want out of this date/ position/ relationship?’ don’t answer with no-strings sex, something to pay the bills or anything to keep me busy!
11. It’s hard not to smell a phony.
Once again with the repetition perhaps I should have written this article it would be much more condensed also who has 11 steps that really upsets my OCD?
Don’t lie, spout BS or give a false impression you WILL get found out. Honesty is treasured especially in such a dirty industry as advertising where every second person is stabbing something in the back to move up a scale. Go there and karma will get you! Be honest about your flaws and then you can only improve on them together – that works nicely for dating too I guess.
To summarise I think for me personally I align my life closely to a long term relationship with advertising because it is my true love, even when it’s stroppy or spurts out some crap along the lines of the new EE campaign. I can handle it and hopefully the job hunt/ dating endeavours will be a success. I know which I want to work out the most and hopefully from reading above you can too. Au revoir…
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